Archive for June, 2008


June 9, 2008

What better place to start a blog about being fat and kinky, but something that can relate to both.

Before I start going in to this post, I must make it clear that I do not find corsets uncomfortable, as I only wear ones that fit properly and I will allow settling time between lacings. In fact, as someone who has had recurrent back problems the majority of her life, they give me a wonderful release from the pain I don’t even always realise the just standing up straight can cause for me. they do not need to be tightly laced for that, though and I could just get a surgical corset if that were all it were really about. I only wear corsets every few months anyway.

I am fat. I’m not too much bigger than an ‘in-between’, some might say I still am one as there are a few shops I can wear striaght sizes in, in fact I’m just one size above the usual UK cut-off point, but I am definately that size bigger. While I have rather big boobs, I am still quite straight up and down with a big stomache. I do not have much of a waist.

This is part of why I love corsets! I like that they can give me that sought-after shape, if I want it. I love that I can look into the mirror and see the shape that is supposedly the sexiest. I do feel sometimes that it’s like I’ve pretended to diet. I would not diet and if I did it would not change my shape, but this guilty feeling remains. It certainly seems antithetical to the idea of Body Acceptance to wear things that make my body appear a more ‘acceptable’ shape. I also sometimes choose to wear a bra that is not the most functional because it gives me the right look, too. that would probably be accepted.

I first wore a corset in my mid teens at a Medieval recreation event. I liked the attention it brought me, though that was largely boob related (as is attention now, probably, when I wear corsets, but now I choose to wear ones that give me a waist, because that that part I like and is different).

In kink there is this idea that all women must wear corsets, regardless of whether dominant or submissive. I’m a switch, but both the fetish clubs I’ve been to I went in a dominant role. Wearing corsets. Which, for me, there are plenty of reasons to wear.

That doesn’t stop the feeling that I am just feeding the stereotype, though. I doubt I’ll ever wear my knee-high lace-up high-heeled black leather boots to something like that again (I really don’t enjoy men licking my shoes), though I’ll continue to wear them other places. I tend to wear flat shoes and comfortable clothes. And a corset. So I’m not doing too much to enforce the stereotype, but I still feel like I’m doing something.

I really enjoy wearing corsets, though and there aren’t all that many places it’s appectable to wear them. Not that I go to, I suppose. Not that I tend to dress to expectations, but still. Should I stop doing something ‘for the sake of the movement’ or should I just get over myself? Lots of women find them uncomfortable (and most people wear ones that aren’t fitted suitably) and seeing one more person in one just enforces that you should wear them. I love Bitchy Jones dearly and her perverted sex glossery lists:

Fucking corsets: Corset were designed to oppress women via clothing. Nowadays they are trumpeted by asshat dominant women as empowering ‘cause they make you look so beayootiful men go all weak at the knees. I am not sure how much perverted sex you get done when he is weak at the knees and you have passed out from lack of oxygen to the brain. Being able to breathe is kind of nice.

And, I totallt see her point. I think that attitude is rediculous, especially as they do frequently have them so tight they can’t breath (especially as these women tend to be relatively thin and therefore have less to squish before stopping easy breathing and creating the dramatic lines). I don’t think I am one of those women, but no one ever does. I don’t think they’re empowering because they make men go weak at the knees, though that is, I’m sure, part of the attraction.

After all this I’m still not sure where I stand, but I certainly still:

a) Like wearing corsets.

b) Feel like a traitor to feminism, fat acceptance and whatever-the-movement-against-stupid-expectations-of-dominant-women-is-called.

What progress.


A New Beginning

June 9, 2008

So, I’ve been considering starting a FA blog for at least six months and now I am. I do, however, think it is important for me to have a place to talk about kink and what it is starting to mean to me. The only thing really stopping me was the fact the all the blogs have such awesome names! I then started thinking about how the two main things I want this blog to be about- Fat Acceptance and Kink – are generally not considered acceptable by society at large. I then thought, eh, that’ll do, and here we are.

I’ll admit I’m still a bit conflicted about these things myself, which is part of the point of this blog. I am also conflicted about the use of the Oxford Comma, so I apologise for inconsistancy in that, too.

Hopefully this blog will be the place where I actually write down all those blog posts I plan in my head on long walks and we’ll see where it goes.